


tell them boris sent you

by rories



Series: sifki week 2020 [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Haunted Houses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25966270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rories/pseuds/rories
Summary: Sif, Loki, Thor, and Val walk into a haunted house.
Relationships: Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Thor (Marvel), Loki/Sif (Marvel)
Series: sifki week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884697
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	tell them boris sent you

**Author's Note:**

> this is for sifki week 2020 - theme: haunted. was struck by inspiration and had a slow day at work. this is set in a dubious sort of alternate universe and they're all like college seniors or something. it's real dumb lol.
> 
> y'all know that one haunted house that takes pictures of their guests as they scare them? this is that lol.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Loki whispers, pressed up against the back of Sif’s shoulder. They’re following Thor and Val through a dark hallway, red lamps casting harsh shadows across walls covered in cobwebs. Over a speaker system, the sounds of moaning and screaming fills the air, making it hard for him to hear the other members of their party. 

“You’re not scared, are you, Loki?” Sif whispers back.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffs at the same time he slides his hand down her arm and intertwines her fingers with his. She’d convinced him to come to a local haunted house for Halloween, preying on his continual need to be near her as well as his relatively unknown charity to the local community. As soon as Sif had said the money went to the local children’s center, Loki had handed her a wad of bills and said nothing else. 

So here they were now, travelling deeper into the bowels of a local warehouse that’s been converted into several of the most grotesque approximations of crime scenes he’s ever seen. The bloodied doctor leading them into the center of the warehouse keeps looking back, smiling sinisterly back at them. Loki has to admit, the attention to detail in decorations and make up are next level. 

Ahead of him, Sif squeezes his hand and pulls him along, laughing at his skeptical looks every time she looks back at him. He knows how haunted houses work and he’s just waiting for some chainsaw-wielding maniac or half-faux-rotted zombie to jump out at him. 

The first room they’re brought to looks suspiciously clean, decorated like a waiting room with plastic chairs and a stained, old coffee maker in the corner. The half-dead doctor leaves them there, smiling silently with wide eyes as he pulls the door shut behind him. 

The room is silent, not even the howling and growling of the Scary Sounds Soundtrack making its way into the room. The door the bloodied doctor had left from has no handle on this side and the only other door, on the opposite side of the room, is firmly closed. The four of them look at each other questioningly before Thor turns to try the handle, just in time for it to fly open. 

They all jump, to varying degrees. Sif and Val only jerk slightly, Sif taking a small step back, but Thor and Loki both jump violently, Thor with a huge grin on his face and Loki gripping Sif’s hand tighter. 

“The doctor will see you now!” a woman in a nurses uniform cackles, holding the door open for them. In the harsh fluorescents of the fake waiting room, the fake blood and organs hanging out around her waist are bright and almost too realistic. 

They slowly make their way past her and Loki tries not to shudder at the wide smile on the nurse’s face. The hallway they go through is that same shadowed red color and as Loki takes another step into it, the door behind him slams shut. When they turn, the nurse is gone. 

Loki takes a deep breath, trying to calm his heartbeat as they move through the next room of the haunted house. The lights flicker as they pass by framed paintings of murder scenes and monsters and Loki does his best to keep his eyes forward. 

Which is probably a mistake because he doesn’t realize one of the picture frames is actually filled with a dark, almost black curtain, through which a man in a black robe and frankly terrifying mask pops through. This one makes Sif jump too this time and even Val takes a step back before moving quickly forward. Sif tugs Loki forward as he looks around wildly, attempting to find more traps like that one. 

The next few rooms are more of the same. Some extremely well costumed individuals jumping out of shadows or revving their chainsaws in an attempt to scare the group and keep them moving. Val has started to laugh nervously as they move through, but Thor’s laugh is genuine. It appears he actually likes the jump scares. Sif hasn’t said much, but she’s kept a tight grip on Loki’s hand as she pulls him through, whispering in his ear between rooms to make sure he’s okay. 

They’re getting to the end of the haunted house now, red exit lights pointing the way. Loki’s footsteps quicken behind Sif’s as they enter what they think is the final room. It’s pitch black in this room, with small red pin lights guiding them along the floor. The sounds of groaning and howling are gone again, but there are hushed whispers and the creaking of floorboards around them as they make their way into the room. 

Val is in front and Loki knows that Thor is plastered against her back, urging her to go faster. The laughter is still in his voice though, but Loki can’t tell if it’s genuine or just nervousness. Sif has one hand twisted in the back of Thor’s shirt and the other gripping Loki’s hand as they move through the space. 

The whispering around them gets louder and then softer and the creaking of the floorboards seems to get closer. Loki feels a brush of fabric against him and he does his best to peer into the darkness. Ahead of him he hears Val gasp and knows she’s been brushed against too. 

There’s a loud boom immediately followed by a cackle and a flash that makes them all yell and jump and Loki finds himself curled around Sif as they rush for the door, Val hitting it with a loud bang and they’re deposited back at the beginning of the tour, a line of eager guests watching people exit. 

Loki is still pressed close to Sif, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other still tangling their fingers together. He pushes her forward, further from the door and the horrors inside. Ahead of them, Thor and Val are laughing again and Loki shakes his head in disbelief. His heart is still racing, the roar of it loud in his ears as he looks to Sif. 

She’s not laughing, not like Thor and Val, but there’s a grin of exhilaration on her face and her cheeks are a bright red. They’re all just a little sweaty from the experience, from the fear and the tight spaces. Loki unravels himself from Sif for just a moment to push back his hair first and then Sif’s, tucking a strand behind her ear. 

“Was that enjoyable for you?” he asks, moving his hand from her waist to her shoulders, pulling her against him. 

“I don’t want to do it again any time soon, but it was fun,” Sif replies, slipping her arm around his waist, under his jacket. “How are you doing?” 

“Next year I’ll just _give_ them the money,” Loki says in a breath. 

Ahead of them, Thor calls out, waving his hand to draw them over to a booth. There are several tv monitors overhead and a teenaged attendant behind the counter. He gives them a once over before turning back to the computer in front of him and before Loki knows it, there is a picture of the four of them on one of the screens. 

It’s from the last room, the four of them all with varying degrees of horror on their faces. Val is screaming, one hand gripping Thor’s shirt and the other clenched in a fist, but there’s a predatory smile in her eyes that Loki is all too familiar with. He wonders if he should be worried about whoever had been assigned to that last room and if they were nursing a black eye right now. 

Thor has attempted to make himself smaller in the picture, placing himself behind Val in an attempt to get away from whatever was in front of them. It’s comical the way he’s cowered behind his much smaller girlfriend and the look of fear on his face is absolutely genuine. 

Sif also looks afraid in the image, rearing back from the imaginary attackers. Her eyes are wide and mouth open, but her face is really all that can be seen due Loki practically octopused around her. Loki has never been more glad to not see his face in a photograph because he knows the look on it would have been one of pure terror. He hadn’t even realized that he’d practically picked Sif up and walked her out of the room at the perceived danger. 

Next to him, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Val slap Thor’s chest with the back of her hand. “Hey, asshole, how come you didn’t put yourself in front of me like Loki did to Sif?!” 

On his other side, Sif barks out a sharp laugh and Loki can’t help the smirk that climbs across his face. Thor makes an affronted noise and looks from Val to Loki and back again, confused and offended. 

Loki turns away from them, knowing that in moments they will go from hushed whispered fighting to making out and he does not want to see that. 

“You weren’t trying to save me from anything at all, were you?” Sif asks as Loki turns to her and wraps his other arm around her shoulders, boxing her in. 

“Of course I was, Lady Sif,” he replies, leaning forward to try and kiss her. 

“Mmhmm,” she says as she pulls back from him, not able to get far with his arms wrapped around her. “I think I was just in your way of the exit.” 

He leans forward again, successful this time at pressing his lips to hers in a soft, sweet kiss. “Mmm,” he hums against her lips. “I guess we’ll never know.”

**Author's Note:**

> opted to call her val bc i like it 
> 
> yes, that is a monster mash lyric for the title


End file.
